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Dear Adrian. I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with the neighbour's daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbour's daughter is 22. We have been married for 10 years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted they had been having an affair for 6 months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed & worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore. Can you please help? Sincerely, Heather Dear Heather A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors. I hope this helps. Adrian |
So men can remember them.
Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut.
How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
When do you care for a man's company?
When he owns it.
Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.
Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They don't stop and ask for directions.
How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.
What is the difference between men and government bonds?
The bonds mature.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know, it has never happened.
What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
They're married.
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.
How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
Both of them.
One woman brings you into this world crying and the wife ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven!
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it!
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.
What are the three fastest means of communication?
Internet, telephone and telawoman!
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
If you are married please ignore the following message:
Happy Independence Day!
Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want then, when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish...
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long!
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, he'll shut up once you let him in.